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Sunday, June 28th, 2009
7:18 pm - Work
oh just another day at work.

mall was really slow today, felt like a waste of time and money for me to be there.

i always feel bad when i don't make money for the company... like my guilt comes out and i feel bad they have to pay me for the time i just stood in the store.

BLAH.

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Thursday, June 25th, 2009
6:12 pm - Been too long...
i'm glad i finally got back into my old account. i've missed this.

since graduating from SDSU... i moved out, started a new relationship that isn't so new anymore, graduated again - now from FIDM in merchandise marketing.

with the economy the way it is, i'm keeping my head up finding ways to make light of everyday and stay happy. i know the right job will come along as long as i'm patient and continue to work hard as i do.

tonight is a girls night. my girls from SDSU - April, Beth, and Des. Three of my favorites that continue to support me and what i want out of life.

I just finished reading the Twilight saga (if you wanna call it that) and i'm HOOKED! TEAM EDWARD is all i have to say.

So tonight, i get to watch the movie with my favorites at April's little theater set up at her condo. I can't even begin to explain my excitement as the minutes pass.

i'm bringing red velvet cupcakes and port wine keeping with the BLOOD theme. HAH! getting into these kinds of things is what makes my life exciting so, sorry if it's not as cute to you.

well i'm off to join my girls in a bit, but just one thing...

HI Juice, if you still read these!

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Monday, July 30th, 2007
2:25 pm - Been a long time
Working a lot.

Graduated in May with a Bachelor of Science degree in Business Management.

Just working to pay rent... sharing a room with Ray Ray (yes a guy). He's charging me really little! So yay!

American Idol auditions in town this weekend and there's been mad traffic and masses of people at the beach and downtown... talk about annoying.

A lot has happened in the boy department and... yeah now i'm just taking a break from that for a while. Being the reason a bad relationship finally terminates and seeing the person i care about most be hurt wasn't my intention and lookin back... i'm not too proud of our actions together. No regrets, just hindsight.

That's all for now.

current mood: cranky

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Friday, January 12th, 2007
9:19 am - Justin Timberlake Concert
I went to his opening concert in San Diego on January 8th.

IT WAS AAAAAMAZING!


He's at Sacramento tonight... the one i would have gone to if i went home for break. aww...

His musical talent showed off more than ever at this concert, i was so proud. Stickin' himself behind a keyboard/piano or guitar really does make a difference.

Have fun on tour, JT and i hope everyone who goes has as much fun as i did!

AAAAAND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

current mood: crazy

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Wednesday, September 13th, 2006
2:09 pm - One Week Left...
Although i agree with Chas' latest blog, i can't help but be excited for my 21st birthday (Sep. 20th).

I can't help but ask myself... after my birthday, what next? There's so much hype about being 21 and i don't see it. I mean, i'll go back into my pessimistic side of my reality and then what? Is something supposed to pull me out of that soon after turning 21?

I figured out the answer... NO. I make things happen for myself and honestly, lately, i've been making things happen for myself and i'm damn proud of it. Of course i have my moments of thinking that it would be nice to have someone with me to share every little experience with, but i know that i should have fun experiences on my own. So CHEERS TO ME, here i am, just living every moment for the next week in high anticipation and excitement for the next year of my life to start.

current mood: pleased

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Tuesday, July 25th, 2006
1:03 pm - SexyBack... yeah!
I just saw Justin's new video and i didn't think i'd be like this again, but shit.

I ran to the t.v. and knealt before it as i watched the video, glued to it, just like i did for Cry Me a River. HAHAHA!

I've been booty bumpin' around my apartment in my towel to that song everytime i got out of the shower because it's been stuck in my head. :]

Damn it, he brought sexy back. That video was sexy. The cinematography was just like looking at a perfume ad... in movement! haha... it was fucking sexy, that's all.


P.S. I registered for classes today for the fall... did i get anything i wanted? No... but it's okay... i'm still happy!

current mood: crazy

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Sunday, July 23rd, 2006
5:22 pm - THE NEWS!
I had the most hectic week OF MY LIFE and it paid off!


I WAS ACCEPTED TO FIDM ON FRIDAY!




Now back to studying for midterms...


current mood: excited

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Sunday, July 9th, 2006
9:32 am - Hm...
i haven't written in here, i mainly like to keep it for the things i wrote before - my freshman year college, living in the LLC.

Things this year have been hectic. I am now in my upperdivision courses and am planning on graduating next May with my BS in Business Administration emphasis on Management. I'm surviving a what i guess can be called a "break-up", and i've found out so much about myself - even smoked a little weed a long the way. haha.

I'm turning 21 in about 70 days or so. I'm kinda scared to find out what's gonna happen that night with my friends. Only because i'm one of the last few to turn 21 of the 2003 crowd and they're all going to be able to help me celebrate because they're of age. haha. oh shit.

I've realized this year that i have an amazing group of friends, good people surround me, and i'm lucky. Yet, i still have that itch - i know there's something out there better for me. But i know that these people will always be around for me.

current mood: contemplative

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Saturday, March 11th, 2006
3:05 pm - Performing is me in my element
i absolutely love performing... well... especially when the crowd responds in a positive manner. :)

i sang Lupang Hinirang for Filipino Culture Night last night and i'm gonna do it again tonight!! Yay! I'm not nearly as nervous for tonight as i was last night.

I went through 3 different styles of singing the song in the last two days, taking pieces of advice from my friends and in the end... 20 minutes before i went on... Erik Atienza told me not to do the key change for lupa ng araw so i freaked out because i had just done my mic test twice with the key change. So i ended up going back to singing the song the way i first learned it. When i did the performance, i hit araw a little weird, but i don't think anyone noticed. I definitely had a roar from the crowd as opposed to the girl that sang the Star Spangled Banner before me. Yay!

So i called in sick to work today because i was kind of losing my voice and i think i had a fever last night... and i was coughing. Anyway, my manager, Kelly tells me to be more responsible for getting my schedule changed. I guess she thought i was calling in sick so i could party or because i went to a party - which i didn't. I really was feeling gross today and well... i hate working there. I'm writing up my two week notice and i'm submitting it this week. She told me that she has a sick staff and calling in sick because my throat hurts and i have a head ache isn't an excuse. Here's what i have to say to that... the music is up so loud that i have to yell to even say hi to customers so why should i go into work when i won't perform well? Also, would she really want me coughing all over the merchandise and customers? i don't think so, that's just gross.

Whatever, i'm going to have a great performance tonight... and this time i'll give it my all in the All Girl (plus Krin) routine. :)

current mood: indescribable

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Tuesday, February 28th, 2006
9:52 pm - So i thought it's about time for a real update...

School:



I got all three forms of a B on my first tests of the semester. :D I'm excited about that. I just took my last midterm for the first round last night. I think i only got one wrong = 96%... *knocks on wood*

Work:



So at first, working at GUESS? Inc. was awesome. The people, the environment, the whole process of mentally preparing to work was exciting. I was happy, i was making money, i loved the people there. Now, everyone's quitting - even managers.

The entire morale of the GUESS Crew has depleated and everyone dreads going to work... unless of course we work with Suzanne who is the most incredible manager ever! She's always upbeat and before she's your boss, she's your friend. She's always making sure you're all right working in a zone and if you need a break.

Erv has communicated to me that he wants me to quit. He says i'm not happy there and he doesn't like when i am pissed off because of work. He's right, but hey, i've gotta make money because i am not about to ask my parents to pay more because fact is, the money they give me is a little short for the bills.

I believe i will be quitting when Horton Plaza's store opens up and Suzanne leaves - in April.

Friends:



My friends have been incredible lately! I love being able to see them. I've even made a new friend, Anthony - from my Poli Sci class. He said that he likes hanging out with me because it's something he hasn't been around in a while. I'm glad i could bring some cheer into someone's life. It's also nice having a friend outside of the regular circle i've been in lately.

Anthony's definitely a new kind of person i've been exposed to. He has incredible intuition and can read me like an open book. Perhaps everyone can, but with him, he's more vocal about it. He'll call me out on my bullshit.

Erv and i have been getting closer and closer this semester. He's an amazing guy. We had a semi-serious conversation last night, and well, he threw in that i'm an awesome girl, he doesn't understand why i get weak sometimes. To be honest, it's just momentary episodes i get from being the strong one in my family. Always the brick wall... once in a while i have to tear it down and rebuild it. It's been occurring a lot more lately. I think i am ready for someone to lean on, to take care of me for a while. I'm just tired of ME right now. Yet, i'm going to be picky about this... and i think i've already picked one. ;)

Kirra's coming back on Sunday! I'm so excited to see her. I don't know if she's visiting or staying a while.

Steve and i are back to normal. I think we are finally back to the way things used to be. I definitely think he's my soulmate... we'll always be very close friends.

April and i are closer than ever. I think PSI really helped with that. We understand each other. I learn something new from her everyday about people and even about myself. We've been accused by the boys that when April and i talk, we're in our own world. We really are... it's almost like we have our own language, but really... if the boys were to just listen, they'd understand us and be able to laugh. Erv tried saturday night... he lasted for a good 20 minutes. haha.

Other:



Lent season starting...

i'm giving up buying clothes. AAHH!! It's going to be hard considering where i work, but hey, i know that in the end, i'll be richer, and stronger.


Lastly... i'm actually happy with my life right now. Despite the fact that my car is still ugly... i am so happy!! I'm happy with the people i surround myself with, i'm happy with who i am, and most of all this year has been great and i'm excited for what's coming up in 2006.

current mood: happy

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12:07 pm - What the hell?
It's raining... in San Diego... kind of cool, but i have to drive in this weather and people in Southern California just don't know how to drive on wet ground. If only they had asphalt like SacTown.

current mood: cold

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Friday, February 10th, 2006
8:57 pm - Lots of changes...
Looks like the annual re-evaluation of one's friends has come early this year...

current mood: contemplative

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Thursday, December 29th, 2005
10:57 pm - my stupidity reigns
I took two classes this summer in hopes that i would do better this year with three or four units less than what i usually take on per semester. Now i look back in regret as another D+ scars my GPA.

I need a 2.9GPA to declare upper division. What did i get this semester with my D+ you ask?? 2.87. 0.03 below my requirement.

I now find myself on the "waiting list" to get into my major. I have completed everything else i need to complete for my college career except for my upper division major requirements... uh... only the most important part of the entire adventure of working toward a degree. and WHAT'S HOLDING ME BACK? 0.03 of my GPA!

I'd like to blame work for scheduling me for 13 hours on the weekend before i took two of my finals on monday, but i can only blame myself for being so worn out from stress. Stress of my car accident, dealing with the insurance company, stress over my grades, stress over work (at the time i wasn't doing so well at work).

Yet, it occured to me that these are all factors that i really couldn't help. If that was how i was feeling at the time that's how i would perform whether at studying, work, or sleep (which was not restful at all, almost seemed like a chore).

I can only look toward the New Year thinking of what i can do differently.

I was thinking studying six days of the week. If i have work at night, then i have to find time during the day and inbetween classes to study or review something.

Declare my room as a designated study room - no more of this wasting time finding other places to study.

Have one day a week whether after class, before or after work to work on myself - relax or find something fun to do like play my Star Wars game or go see a movie.

Like all other years before, resolutions never last for more than the month of January. This time, i really need to stay focused and quit getting as many C's as A's.

current mood: frustrated

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Friday, December 23rd, 2005
10:38 pm - on the worse side of things...
Trav has moved out of Neverland to move back before the Spring 2007 semester, The LostBoys has lost one (EAN) and yeah... this semester has definitely been the best one to remember with my group of friends. Ervin and i are close friends now, Steve's drifted, but i know he'll forever be my best guy friend in San Diego. He's always there when i need him to be and is always willing to listen. Trav and i have our cute banter goin' on. I'm really going to miss him... i hope he doesn't forget to bring his little Hamburger Helper oven mitt friend with him to Chile. He's going to have so much fun, i can't even imagine. I just hope that when he comes back, he isn't much different than he is now. I don't know how much more drastic changes i can take within the next year.

I'm shitting my pants waiting for my other two grades to post. Before this semster i had a 2.97 overall GPA and so far i have a C in Astrobiology and a B+ in IDS290 which makes me GPA exactly 2.9. I need my 2.9 to declare upper division Business Management next semester otherwise i'm wasting a semester taking more upper division General Ed classes that i really don't need which pushes my grad date back to Fall 2007. i don't want that... i want to be at FIDM that semester. If i keep my A in my Filipino Contemporary Issues class and i get my C in Early Modern Europe, then i should be fine with my GPA... *prays*

Please send me some good karma.

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10:34 pm - i really hate customers during the holidays...
So when i clocked into work today, i was asked immediately to work the register because we had a long ass line forming. I hop onto the register and i rang a few people up... simple, easy, and efficiently done well. My fourth customer was an African lady and her husband... i mean straight from Africa. So she wanted to return a shirt she bought her husband the day before because it was the wrong size and she couldn't find another one for him. So i start doing the return. GUESS? Inc does not give cash back to people who pay in cash. Corporate sends them a check in the mail within 7-12 days upon return.

At first i was stuck because i hadn't done a return since last Saturday and that was the day i started working the register so i asked my co-worker, Macy what i should do next. She just started pushing keys and before i knew it, a receipt printed out. Then i handed the lady her receipts and told her about the policy since she did pay in cash. Her husband stares me down and starts barking at me about the fact that i didn't let them know before i did the return. But you know, what would they have done if i DID tell them before? Would he just wear the damn shirt with it being too small for him? She already said that they couldn't find anything else they liked, and just wanted her money back!!

So i get my manager, Taylor and i tell him that they want cash back and he came over and explained it to them again. They continued repeating what they had said before about three times, "I just want my money back because i want to do more Christmas shopping... i don't have a bank account to cash that check... why didn't she tell us before she did the return?" Taylor, who loves me, just barked back at them the way managers do and just said that "...is our policy and you don't need an account to cash a check, just take it into a bank and they will do it for you..." Both of my managers who were there were very understanding in my situation. I thought they would have been on my case about it for not telling them about our policy, but my manager Taylor reminded them that it is written on the receipt so i am not obligated to tell them anyway, they should read the policy that takes up about a third of the receipt.

They left disgruntled and unhappy, but you know what, don't give me a hard time about it assholes...

This new girl, Jenette and i had to deal with two Mexican guys in the fitting rooms too... they kept calling me over asking me if this outfit he had on looked good and it did and i said so, but he kept persisting to ask me in English. Then he started speaking in Spanish and i said, "i'm sorry, i don't speak Spanish" about five times until i was getting pissed off repeating myself. If i answer you in English, it's obvious i don't understand you, you motherfuckers. So Jenette, who is Mexican, continued to help them, but they kept trying to talk to me, and i just rolled my eyes and walked away to find the next unpleasant customer to help.

Fucking idiots.

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Thursday, December 15th, 2005
10:19 am - Fun night last night!
After 6 and a half hours of studying, i went to my boys house and Erv and i went to the store. i made Trav, Erv, and Kato some chicken adobo and i rented 40 Year Old Virgin and Erv got Polar Express. I think that i actually picked out the guy movie compared to Polar Express! It's okay, Erv wanted to be in the Christmas spirit.

Theresa and Andrea called me at like 2am just as we were starting the second movie and they were stranded at the mall after seeing King Kong and desperately needed a ride home after Theresa lost her keys at the theater. This girl is always losing her keys. Luckily, Trav came with me so that i wouldn't have to drive around at 2am by myself. If he didn't come with me, i would have ended up just going home. Instead, i fell asleep on their couch with the warmest blanket EVER! haha. I <3 those boys, they know how to take care of girls.

I'm definitely going to miss Trav for the entire year he'll be in Chile, and Ian... well... just kidding! The house definitely will not have the same feel to it next semester when they're both gone. *tear*

P.S. Remind me how i hate sleeping over at other people's houses when i don't have a toothbrush.

current mood: crazy

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Sunday, December 11th, 2005
10:23 am - My car accident update
So yeah, i didn't post in here about my accident, but i was in a car accident on November 29th, 2005 in my BRAND NEW - hasn't even travelled 2,000 miles - pretty - Silver - Acura RSX that i got on August 17, 2005.

Anyways, my claims adjuster is awesome, a really nice guy. He explained all of the difficult big words involved with having to make a claim. I'm waiting for him to call me back and tell me it's not my fault, although he told me off the record, unofficially that it isn't. He is currently working on talking to the other insurance company to find out what the other party's story is. However, the damage is on the side of my car and on HIS front bumper... so you tell me who's fault it is.

Anyways... i just had some time to vent...

i have to wake up Marisa now, she needs me to take her to Costco.

Then i have work from 4pm-8pm... hopefully Arnie comes to visit today.

current mood: busy

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Saturday, December 3rd, 2005
10:22 am - LostBoys Prom Night
So our boys had a winter formal at their house. Not that many people there, but they got in a lot more trouble with the cops.

I started out the night very excited about Prom and everything it entails including getting dressed up. :)

We left around 10:30pm, and at around 12:30am it was broken up. It's okay... i was getting sooper annoyed with drunken people by 11:30pm.

Just as i tried to get out of the crowd (11:30pm) and have some time to breathe in Travis' room, i was a witness to some drama i didn't want to be a part of. I love all of the people involved in it, but the situation mixed with alcohol was not pretty.

They kicked everyone else out (after the 3rd or 4th time the cops came)except for the select few that the boys really look out for... like us. Jade and I stayed and hung out with the 15-20 people that were there. This was actually when it got fun. Poor Alyssa was tired, but she slept in Steve's very comfy bed.

Bits of the events:

They smoked hookah, and i was entertained by the black folk. haha. Asia and Ayasha are a party of their own. Ayasha and her wooden spoon, Asia eating Ian's birthday cake. Asia singing Bugaboo and A Whole New World into an unhooked microphone before and while eating the cake. Ayasha eating the cake with her wooden spoon. Nikki and her eyelashes that she says she's nothing without (same as J-Lo). Travis letting me wear his San Francisco sweatshirt while at the house because my dress was backless and i was freezing. Travis being so drunk that he really thought i was drunk too. Steve spilling perfectly good peach champagne all over the kitchen floor. Steve made me a tamale after the crowd left just 'cause he knew i was hungry. Kato poured me some of Ervin's orange juice into a mug. Me holding the mug while in Trav's big ass sweatshirt with the hood on, standing at the sliding glass doorway - looking like a Foldger's commercial. Jade was my "date/babe"... "i see you baby, shakin' that ass..."


I don't know about you, but this was NOTHING like my Prom. Prom consisted of a lot of drama that i was involved in when it really wasn't anyone else's business, no alcohol, and no cops.

current mood: amused

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Friday, December 2nd, 2005
8:05 am - O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree... o christmas tree o christmas tree
We got a 6.5' "special" noble fir in our living room. i want to jump on it like Buddy does to put the star on top. (not really, but that's damn funny).

GUESS WHO PICKED IT OUT?! (Alyssa knew this was coming...) I DID! :) Yaaay!

I've always felt like Christmas was always my mom's thing, so i never had any say in what we got... this year i finally get to have my own Christmas that i'm involved in! YaAAAAaaaay!

I'm not going home for Christmas, so i've gotta improvise. *shrug*

mmm... the wonderful smell of PINE!

The tree definitely starts to make up for my car accident.

current mood: amused

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Saturday, November 12th, 2005
2:50 pm - Realizations hurt sometimes
In my drunkenness last night, i realized a lot of things about my life at the present time. I really am unhappy with a lot of things going on. I guess this explains all of the sudden weight-loss that's been occurring in the last few months.

I love where i live.

SDSU isn't cutting it for me anymore though. I pondered what it would be like to transfer, but i know it's not an option at the moment. Especially with the fact that i am almost finished.

So it started with that last night. When Courtney asked me if i was leaving. I can't say i never thought about it, but it isn't something i would really do.

Then someone asked me about Samahan. That just pushed the knife in deeper into the infected wound.

Then a guy i know asked me about my lunch date i had with Joe. This is when i lost it. Prior to last night we had a conversation that definitely left me unhappy with what he thought of me. Then when i confronted him about it being out of jealousy... he couldn't say anything.

So it wasn't just one thing that happened last night that made me an emotional train wreck causing me to look like an alcoholic, but rather a collection of everything going on. It's hard for me to uncover what's on the surface because i really am afraid to find what's deeper within me. Last night was a good example of why it's unhealthy for me, and i know i shouldn't do it. Marisa was my rock last night. She explained to me that it just doesn't work without me... but the question is, am i willing to work with it anymore?

current mood: sad

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